July 23rd, 2011

Bullying and the Law of Attraction

This morning I stumbled over the follwoing quote and it really touched me:

Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength. ~Eric Hoffer

Very often in business and also in ones private life people of little personal power or knowledge move to rude and insulting behavior when they feel threatened in any way. Unfortunately, often such people feel threatened even when there is nothing to feel threatened about. They are just playing out their own personal drama and insecurities. I also see this behaviour frequently on mailing lists and public message boards. The goal of people who operate like that is not to find truth and to learn, but to win, thereby bolstering their weak ego.

If this kind of person finds that a person with greater knowledge disproves information they previously stated, they become aggressive and move the discussion away from the factual to the personal level. They try to insult and discredit their adversary as a person. The goal is to bully their discussion counterpart out of the discussion. It is sad for the list, as other people will shy away from participating for fear of being personally attacked. For those who participated in the discussion and inadvertantly triggered such a response, it is not a pleasant experience.

And that is where this quote comes in. If you are ever caught in such a situation in real or virtual interactions with others, it helps to keep in mind that bullying is never a sign of strength, but rather one of weakness. Remember that:

  1. The other person feels inferior to you
  2. The other person feels threatened by you

Keeping this in mind, it is so much easier dealing with such situations. Take a deep breath, smile and respond how you would respond to an angry child. Be gentle with the other person’s feelings. They are wounded already. You are the adult in this interchange. Be firm, but gracious. And do not allow yourself to be dragged down to their level. Remember that what is happening has little to do with you and a lot with the other person. Thus, there is no point in considering yourself personally attacked, even if it feels like it, initially. It takes two people to play out this drama. If you refuse to play along – there is no drama.

Being a firm believer in the Law of Attration, I would also like you to remember to look at the learning opportunity that surely is presented to you in a situation like that:

  • Where do you feel the person possibly mirroring you?
  • Where is the person possibly better than you? Do you perhaps have a hard time standing up for yourself?
  • Where have you encountered situations like that before? Is there perhaps a pattern?
  • Do you tend to attract such situations? Why do you “need” them?
  • What is inside of you that attracts such situations into your life?

Keep thinking about this situation and process the related issues. You can easily do this by utilizing EFT for example. Then work on similar situations you experienced previously and their related issues. Huge growth can come out of such situations for you. In the end, try to thank the other person (mentally, if not in person ;-)) for being your teacher and helping you to grow.

Enjoy, 🙂

Anna.

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