September 3rd, 2011

Stop trying so hard: the Secret to manifesting great Relationships

In couples that keep parrots I see it often that one person of the couple really wanted parrots. They play with the animals, feed them, clean them and take wonderful care of them. The other person did not want parrots and consented in keeping them only to make their partners happy. They totally ignore the animals, watching TV or reading instead, when they have out of cage time.

Guess whom the parrots adore and can’t seem to stay away from? Yes, it’s the person who didn’t even want them. The person who did want the parrots and who is trying so hard bitterly complains to me that it is so unfair and that it doesn’t make sense at all. But doesn’t it?

People who badly want a relationship be it with a parrot or another human being, tend to get rather pushy about it. They force the relationship, projecting neediness, instead of letting it develop. Consequently, the other party runs away screaming and turns to other people who are more relaxed about the process.

Trying too hard almost never works. It does not make you the teachers’ or bosses’ favourite, nor does it bring an errant lover back to your side.

From an LOA point of view this makes perfect sense. Trying too hard is the reflection of insecurity which in turn arises from a focus on lack and need. Trying too hard scares away relationships rather than attracting them. The secret to manifest great relationships is to pull back and use the principles of the Law of Attraction.

This week I would like you to think about relationships you are not so happy with, relationships in which you may be trying too hard. Difficult as it may be, I would like you to stop “doing things” to make the relationship work.

Instead, I would like you to use that time quietly by yourself thinking about and making a list about the things that are good about those relationships. Then I want you to go through each item of the list every day, appreciating it and being thankful for it from the bottom of your heart (you can find a more detailed explanation of this technique in my book “Clicker training the Law of Attraction”). This will go a lot further in improving those relationships than struggling will.

Have a harmonious week,


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